A Valentine

(Dox and Mamadox in San Diego, California, 2010)

On our first date, Dox mentioned his mom.  I remember the moment well; for those who know my husband, I’ll simply mention the fact that it occurred right after he finished his key lime pie and asked if we knew each other well enough for him to polish off my own dessert.  And, as any girl on a date knows, a conversation about a mom is tres importante, right?  We’re simply searching for clues that the man across the table with the tollhouse pie will offer the same respect to said date that he shows to his mom (no Oedipal swerve intended.  I truly believe the maxim to watch how your significant other treats his mother because it reflects how he will treat you in the future).

At any rate, Dox was honestly not overstating his mom.  Mamadox (or Debbie as she is known to her friends) is a woman who makes everything more fun.  Last year Dox and I went on a cruise.  The first people we thought to ask to come with us were Mamdox and Pops (I have to be honest.  I think we slowed them down a bit—these two are party animals—especially when it comes to bingo!) 

(On the cruise when we thought we would win bingo. We thought that a lot...)

At the same time, Debbie has such a good head on her shoulders that you want to sit down at her kitchen table, sip a diet coke or two (a diet pepsi in her case) and talk about anything in the world.  She has a knack for making the person she is talking to feel like they are the only person on earth; she buys special chocolate treats for her daughters-in-law; and she would never make fun of any member of her family who might need to approach her, head hung low, asking for help to sew a button, per say (let’s just say that Stacey and Ashlyn are far too domestic to need advice in this area).  I deeply appreciate having a mother-in-law that loves and accepts me for me.  In fact, the first time I met Debbie was when Dox and I drove down for Christmas vacation.  I was terribly carsick and it made the ride hours longer than we had intended.  When I walked into Debbie’s kitchen, she and Pops hugged me and welcomed me so generously.  They pretended that I didn’t smell, that my hair wasn’t matted to my head and mascara wasn’t dripping down my face.  I fell in love with them that day and they overlooked the fact that their son brought home a girl that looked like wet dog because that’s just the kind of people that Debbie and Pops are--really gracious).

So, most importantly, let’s talk about what it must be like for Debbie to be the mother of three boys, especially when each boy programs himself into her phone as “mom’s favorite son.”  Needless to say, Debbie answers each of their calls with the same jovial enthusiasm and love.  Most likely all three brothers would describe their mom as one of the greatest supporters of their lives.  She drove through the worst snowstorm of the year to be with Ben and Ashlyn when their twins were born, just like she stood in hours of rain to be the first to hug Dox when he finished his initial marathon.  Most recently, she stood at the finish line for Justin holding a sign that said, “I am Marathon Intense.”  This epithet is something the Doxford brothers say to one another about running, but it also describes their mother quite appropriately as well.  Wherever they go, she is always running with them.  Debbie will forever be the first one at finish lines, dance recitals, making apple crisp around campfires, or plans to cruise Alaska.  Her boys may put in the miles, but she is always already the golden medal winner. 

(my how they grow up...)

So, this year on Valentines Day, when my husband reached across the table and sweetly asked, “Are you going to finish that?” I gave silent thanks for the emotional miles Debbie has run with Dox.

You’ve trained him well.

Happy Valentines, Mamadox.  And Happy Birthday too! 

Whitman, Jameson, and JEFFREY!

Will you allow me to talk about my brother for just one post? Those of you who know Jeff can easily attest to the fact that he would never brag on himself.  He turns bright red at the hint of praise, deflects compliments, and is, in all reality, one of the most thoughtful human beings I've ever come across in my life (his lone competition might just be his wife, Charlotte). Ok, so now you understand that I'm the younger sister of a generous, magnanimous, and crazy talented brother, will you allow me to offer this post dedicated just to him?  (Forget his lack of ego, please forgive mine).  Here is the rundown on what's going on in Jeff's corner of the world (and because it's going on for Jeff, it undoubtedly means that Char, his equally amazing wife, has spent the past three days sharing a joint case of insomnia and making sure paintings are affixed properly to gallery walls).

Thus, I am pleased to announce one of Jeff's upcoming exhibits at the CUAC.  If you are lucky enough to be in the area, I 'm absolutely certain (personal bias aside) it will be worthwhile and beautiful.

Below is the news release/ web release for the show:

WHITMAN AND ASSOCIATES

New work from Salt Lake-based artist Jeff Larsen For Immediate Release: Central Utah Art Center 86 South Main Ephraim, UT 84627 435-283-5110 www.cuartcenter.org Ephraim Utah --The Central Utah Art Center is pleased to announce a showing of the art of Utah native Jeff Larsen. His recent interests have been rooted in an examination of American artistic and literary traditions. Particularly grounded in ideas proliferated in the Hudson River School of landscape painting, and the writings of Walt Whitman, Larsen has sought to bring transcendental landscape traditions home to Utah. This investigation and desire to contextualize greater American traditions is based on Larsen's interests in broad concepts of wilderness and Manifest Destiny, which he has seen fit to translate into a local substance. This series of works has been influenced by Larsen's recent proclivity to reflect on his native landscape, the Salt Lake Valley and surrounding areas, as a utopian project. His is an examination of the successes and the shortcomings of this project. In accord with this examination, Larsen has taken it upon himself to take walks downtown in search of areas he refers to as “ruptures” in the city; spaces that are undefined, marginal and liminal. These are categorically, a new sort of wilderness, created at the seams of Utopian objectives. Larsen's downtown walks have resulted in the works in this exhibition. Jeff Larsen received his BFA in painting at the Rhode Island School of design in 2003. He received his MFA for Studio art in 2008 at Brigham Young University, where he also minored in Art History and Curatorial Studies. This exhibition is one of many at the CUAC that features highly acclaimed artists from around the United States and Utah. A review of our programming has recently been included in the highly influential international Flash Art magazine published in Milan, Italy. Artists who have shown at the CUAC over the last four years have been included in the Whitney Biennial, the Venice Biennial, collected by Charles Saatchi; they have been exhibited in the Getty Museum, Whitney Museum, Guggenheim Museum, Saatchi Gallery, major museums in Switzerland, Germany, Iceland, Korea, and Spain; They have shown in Deitch Projects, Mary Boone Gallery, Freight and Volume Gallery, the Drawing Center, and many other important New York, Los Angeles, and international venues. CUAC Mission Statement: The purpose of the CUAC is to educate Utahns about Contemporary Art through exhibitions of artists from three categories: Sanpete artists who demonstrate a high level of professionalism in their art; Utah artists who make art in a Contemporary genre who are emerging or well established; and artists who are exemplary of important trends in Contemporary Art worldwide. The CUAC maintains that good education about art starts with strong exhibitions of Contemporary Art that have relevance in content or image to our community. Education also includes outreach to the community in the form of classes for adults and children, lectures and critical dialogue about art, and an inviting, friendly environment that welcomes visitors and encourages questions and strives to provide answers.

For full exhibit details see: http://mim.io/5e91d?fe=1&pact=2782126033

p.s. sometimes I get asked what "type" of painter Jeff is (meaning what school of painting he would associate himself with or what forms and materials he uses in his works).  The simplest answer is that he most often works with oils, and has, at one point or another, worked with several genres and forms (abstracts, landscapes, portraiture, and new media).  As an outsider, I would say that Jeff's "process" (such a dorky word) is to wrestle with a concept by using forms and materials in interesting and thoughtful ways.  Most importantly, however, I (guiltily) went on ratemyprofessor.com last week (some peers and I had an urgent scholarly matter that needed some attention) only to discover that my brother had been given some very nice remarks and a high "hottness" rating (though we were definitely not looking for Jeff, we found him next to the red chili peppers).  As a sister, this is quite disturbing.  For Char, I can only imagine...)

Sisters (and Happy Birthday Stacey)

My sister-in-law is going to dethrone Martha Stewart someday very soon.  Probably in a very mannerly way and by method of vanilla bean frosting, creme fraiche, or home-grown poultry. Or it might happen over Christmas tree ornaments or the Thanksgiving banner. But, believe me, it will happen.  And when it does, I'm certainly hoping Stacey first teaches me how to construct a proper pie crust and secondly allows me to at least glance at the stock options for SDN (the Stacey Doxford Network.  I mean, come on, we all watch OWN).

Stacey V. Doxford--the next Martha Stewart

In all honesty, at least a MILLION times a day I read something, see something, eat something, or hear something that makes me think of my sisters.  Whether that's my sister by flesh (you've been stuck with me forever whether you like it or not) Lindsay Ann, and my sisters by law (who are really just sisters, but at least I've had the opportunity to mature into my mid-twenties before becoming related). And then there are those sisters who are yours by friendship--the ones that know your worst fears and weaknesses, have seen you at your absolute lowest of lows (having seen snot drip down your nose and face and loved you through it all and still the same). Though I no longer have a treehouse to turn into a girl's only club, I still believe this is an incredibly honored association. I mean, GALLONS of Ben and Jerry's have been devoured in the name of sisterhood, right?

I assure you I'm incredibly blessed when it comes to my sisters.  These friendships are incredibly easy and natural  to think about, though I feel so far away from my family and many of my longtime dear friends here on the east coast (don't get me wrong, I do love living in NYC).  At the same time, there is a sort of pleasure (or perhaps nostalgia?) that comes from attaching experience with memory.  Perhaps what I mean to say is that I love to walk into a pristine bakery and think of Stacey, or watch the carriages in Central Park and think of Ashlyn.  More times than I should admit over the holiday break I ordered food in (um, cinnastix!) while watching Gilmore (which always reminds me of the comforts of being with Char).  Similarly, I always pass by the most beautiful elementary school in our area which sits next to a market and a floral shop.  When I walk by and see  the parents and nannies coming to pick their children up after school it reminds me of Char and the hard work she puts into her own job.  And finally, every time I walk by the visual arts museum on campus and see the gorgeous oils on display (well, currently on display) I think of Linnie.  Something about the art students bustling in and out of their studios (with coffee perched on top of their easel boards, talking on their cell phones...which, in Linds'  case would be replaced with diet coke or perhaps propel) makes me miss her.  I can't wait until you, dearest Lindsay, are just a train ride away.

Ashlyn Doxford

I am grateful for sisters!  And today, when I belatedly wish Stacey a happy birthday, I am going to go to the most lovely, beautiful, and delicious bakery I can think of and have a cupcake in celebration of her.  Then, I am going to think about the day in the not so distant future (after Stace has finished her run as PTA Pres.--all things in their time) when she, Oprah, and Nate Berkus make a super channel and Oprah declares it her most favorite thing of ALL time.  (and when that day happens, I will get the Cake Boss to make a concoction the size of Manhattan...just you wait!) Happy Birthday Stacey!

Lindsay Ann and Charlotte

Char (and Jeff)