A Valentine

(Dox and Mamadox in San Diego, California, 2010)

On our first date, Dox mentioned his mom.  I remember the moment well; for those who know my husband, I’ll simply mention the fact that it occurred right after he finished his key lime pie and asked if we knew each other well enough for him to polish off my own dessert.  And, as any girl on a date knows, a conversation about a mom is tres importante, right?  We’re simply searching for clues that the man across the table with the tollhouse pie will offer the same respect to said date that he shows to his mom (no Oedipal swerve intended.  I truly believe the maxim to watch how your significant other treats his mother because it reflects how he will treat you in the future).

At any rate, Dox was honestly not overstating his mom.  Mamadox (or Debbie as she is known to her friends) is a woman who makes everything more fun.  Last year Dox and I went on a cruise.  The first people we thought to ask to come with us were Mamdox and Pops (I have to be honest.  I think we slowed them down a bit—these two are party animals—especially when it comes to bingo!) 

(On the cruise when we thought we would win bingo. We thought that a lot...)

At the same time, Debbie has such a good head on her shoulders that you want to sit down at her kitchen table, sip a diet coke or two (a diet pepsi in her case) and talk about anything in the world.  She has a knack for making the person she is talking to feel like they are the only person on earth; she buys special chocolate treats for her daughters-in-law; and she would never make fun of any member of her family who might need to approach her, head hung low, asking for help to sew a button, per say (let’s just say that Stacey and Ashlyn are far too domestic to need advice in this area).  I deeply appreciate having a mother-in-law that loves and accepts me for me.  In fact, the first time I met Debbie was when Dox and I drove down for Christmas vacation.  I was terribly carsick and it made the ride hours longer than we had intended.  When I walked into Debbie’s kitchen, she and Pops hugged me and welcomed me so generously.  They pretended that I didn’t smell, that my hair wasn’t matted to my head and mascara wasn’t dripping down my face.  I fell in love with them that day and they overlooked the fact that their son brought home a girl that looked like wet dog because that’s just the kind of people that Debbie and Pops are--really gracious).

So, most importantly, let’s talk about what it must be like for Debbie to be the mother of three boys, especially when each boy programs himself into her phone as “mom’s favorite son.”  Needless to say, Debbie answers each of their calls with the same jovial enthusiasm and love.  Most likely all three brothers would describe their mom as one of the greatest supporters of their lives.  She drove through the worst snowstorm of the year to be with Ben and Ashlyn when their twins were born, just like she stood in hours of rain to be the first to hug Dox when he finished his initial marathon.  Most recently, she stood at the finish line for Justin holding a sign that said, “I am Marathon Intense.”  This epithet is something the Doxford brothers say to one another about running, but it also describes their mother quite appropriately as well.  Wherever they go, she is always running with them.  Debbie will forever be the first one at finish lines, dance recitals, making apple crisp around campfires, or plans to cruise Alaska.  Her boys may put in the miles, but she is always already the golden medal winner. 

(my how they grow up...)

So, this year on Valentines Day, when my husband reached across the table and sweetly asked, “Are you going to finish that?” I gave silent thanks for the emotional miles Debbie has run with Dox.

You’ve trained him well.

Happy Valentines, Mamadox.  And Happy Birthday too!